Predilection
by M-A
Summary: This is a songfic of the song by Nittle Grasper of the same title. It goes about Ryuichi's thoughts as he thinks about his relationship with Tatsuha from how it began through the lyrics of Predilection.


Title: Predilection

Author: M.A.

Disclaimer: No, do not own any of these characters and songthat i have shamelessly borrowed from Gravitation for a non-profitableby a fan.

Notes: This is a songfic based on the lyrics from the song Predilection which was sung by our all time favourite Ryuichi Sakuma and Nittle Grasper (not too sure of the original performers though ..) Anyways enjoy!

My eyes scanned the room before i felt a tap on my head. "What is it Kumagoro?" I turned towards the direction my pink stuffed friend pointed and my eyes met a familiar figure, sitting at the mini bar. Smirking, I made my way towards him.

"Kumagoro believes you're not suppose to be drinking nanoda!" The young guy stiffened a little before turning towards me. Clearly he was tall, taller than me by a good couple of inches. He might even be taller than Touma, now that he was propped on his two feet. "Sa… Sa… Sakuma-san!" I watched in amusement as he stammered, obviously not expecting to see me. That or the fact that I knew that he should not be drinking and am reminding him so. Letting out a small laugh I held out my hand, "Call me Ryu! And who might you be?" I watch him try to hide his reddening cheeks and shook my hand, "Ue… Tatsuha." _Tatsuha…_ _where have I heard that name_? Putting that aside, along with the little note on him leaving his family name out I smiled and took a sit next to him. "well Tatsu-chan, mind if I join you here?" Once again his cheeks got red. "_mypleasure…_ cough I mean erm.. ya.. Sure. Why not?" Once again he took his seat and bade the bartender. "What would you have Saku.. I mean Ryu-chan?" I made a thoughtful pose before beaming, "DRY MARTINI!" "That and bourbon for me." As the bartender left to get our drinks, I watched as Tatsuha drummed his fingers. "So... how do you find it?" I tried to break the ice. "Huh?" Once again his face burnt red as he turned my direction. This boy was adorable! He kept blushing!"Oh.. the concert you mean? Well it was marvelous, as with ALL your concerts!" beaming at him, I bounced on my stool as the drinks arrived. I immediately dive for the olive as I always do. "You must really like olives then?" he suddenly asked. "Ryu-chan likes the taste and texturenanoda!" at the corner of my eye, I saw as he watched me endearingly. This guy was really good looking and oh-so-familiar! Where _have_ I met him?

I spent the rest of the party at the bar drinking and chatting with the hotguy till I had no idea how it came about but we both left halfway and soon I found myself, arms around his tight abs feeling the wind rushing past my face. We had snuck past the bodyguards and driver as we rode his beautiful bike. Enjoying the rush of wind on my face, I threw my arms in the air, the feeling of freedom. "Tatsuha, this is fun!" I managed to scream past the deafening wind. "I told you that you'd enjoy it!" I managed to make out his words. Once again I wrapped my arms around his waist, feeling that perfectly chiseled abs behind those layers of cloth. Resting my cheek on his back, I snuggled deeper into the soft leather he wore. It felt wonderful, being with this man I just met a few hours ago, though it seemed that I've known for far longer than that.

Back at the Party, unknowingly after an hour we had snuck out, Touma and been searching high and low for me while his wife, Mika-san,searched for a missing bike owner. Touma, as he met up with his wife after his search managed to put the two and two together before letting out a sigh. "Oh no! They _did not_..." Meanwhile Mika's face was filled with worry. "I _hope_ not..."

Fumbling with the hotel key to my suite, I finally managed to get the door open as we both stumbled in. Not bothering with the light, we immediately made our way in to the bedroom before finding myself pushed up on the closed door panting as I had hands swarming all over me. "Ryuichi-sama." With that I found myself lifted off the floor and onto the soft bed. Hungry eyes watched me as he made his way to shut the curtains and slowly back. I watched in anticipation of what's to come next. Who would've thought that with this we were unknowingly trapping ourselves in a huge web?

_nijuuhachi-ji no yoru wo kiritoru _

_mado wo toshimetara hajimaru _

_ichido shikaketara tokenai wana wo _

_ma ni awanai PROTECTION _

The words rang through my mind as we were both drowned in the heat of the night.

_can't get enough…_

Who would have thought that this day would keep leading to the next, and the next and the next? Soon I was craving for that body every night. Those lips, eyes, hands, skin became my new addiction.

_don't let me down_

Tatsuha, as it is, turned out to be Touma's brother-in-law and also brother to Shuichi's lover. He, as I found out later by dear old Touma, is also pretty much under aged. Touma had one day pulled me aside and lectured on how I should just let the whole thing be a one night stand and forget the youngster. He lectured of the effects it would cause me, the company and the band if it leaks out to the media that the famous Sakuma Ryuichi is gay and is sleeping with another guy_, a sixteen year old BOY_.

"Ryuichi, do not toy with his feelings. On his part, I beg of you. I'd rather separate the two of you now before things get too complicated." I watched Touma's tight face, stating that he was serious. A wicked smirk made its way to my lips. So Touma does care for the boy.

_No_...Touma did not understand my addiction, my obsession...

_tatoeba kimi wo kizutsuketai _

_jiorama ni tojikomete _

_tataitemita tte sakendetemo _

_kikoenai sa PREDILECTION _

Every day I found myself thinking about him. Everyday I tried to imagine his beautiful face contort in pain as I hurt him. He was slowly driving me crazy! Everywhere I looked I saw his face. I had no idea what was happening to me. It all suddenly seemed like a game to me, one that traps me.

_iki mo dekinai _

_joukyou shita de wa _

_sugureta ai wo musaboru_

_can't get enough kotoba yori mo motto _

_don't let me down tashika ni misete hoshii _

_one more night kusuka ni kizutsuita _

_kimi wo mitsumeru me sono saki ni _

One day, I found Tatsuha sitting on my bed waiting for me. I had forgotten that I'd given him a set of keys to my apartment. "Tatsuha." It slipped out of my mouth as a whisper. Looking at me with that roguish yet still boyish face and a sad smile, I suddenly found myself in a tight embrace. "I'm not leaving you again. I'm too in love with you Ryuichi." Deceit. Deceit. Deceit. I keep telling myself. Coming from such beautiful lips... I can't fall into such traps. I...

_uragiru tame ni umaretekita_

_kuchibiru wo togisumase_

_muimi na rikutsu ni mata muragaru_

_orokashisa ni PREDILECTION_

Slowly I pushed away from that embrace,pushed him away. "Get out. You don't belong here." It came out soft but clear. I couldn't bear to look up, at his face, but just as well I could imagine the confusion in his eyes. _Get out... yes, get out of this game before it's too late._

_nasuketa mo nai_

_kono heya kara_

_hayaku sukuidashite yo_

In the end I myself got caught in a web that was unknowingly spun. No, I must not let _him_ fall into the trap.

With a distant sound of the engine running, I stood unmoving. Memories of the beautiful nights we spent together flooded behind my closed lids. _No.. I can't do this.._

With that I ran out of my door, to see the bike trailing away. "I'M SORRY! TATSUHA COME BACK!" I yelled at the top of my lungs hoping that those words would reach him. With that I collapse in the middle of the road, tears rolling down uncontrolled. _"just one more night…"_

_can't get enough utsukushii mayonaka _

_don't let me down hashiritsuzukete mo mata _

_one more night nigerenai no wa dare _

_kizukitaku mo nai sono shinjitsu_

All these while, never did I realize that perhaps I have fallen too deep for him. I couldn't bring myself to see the hurt in his face after all. Seeing him sad, it hit me at that moment as those words slipped out of my lips, hurts me more…

_can't get enough kanashige na kao kara _

_don't let me down itami sae fukuetara _

_one more night junsui na ai dake _

_tookunai mirai kanaeru sa _

_hajimari sae _

_ushinawareta _

_owaranai geemu wo shiyou_

The first time we met at the bar, after the party, I should have never invited him over. I should have never started with these never ending games of the heart, knowing that it was doomed from the start.

_can't get enough kotoba yori mo motto _

_don't let me down tashika ni misete hoshii _

_one more night suka ni kizutsuita _

_kimi ga mitsumeru me sono saki ni _

_can't get enough utsukushii mayonaka _

_don't let me down hashiritsuzukete mo mata _

_one more night nigerenai no wa dare _

_kizukitaku mo nai sono shinjitsu _

_can't get enough kanashige na kao kara _

_don't let me down itami sae fukuetara _

_one more night junsui na ai dake _

_tookunai mirai kanaeru sa _

Slowly I looked up to see deep brown eyes staring straight into mine. "Tatsuha."

_can't get enough _

_don't let me down _

_one more night _

_Can't get enough_

_Don't let me down_

_One more night_

_----owari----_

A/N: Reviews are much appreciated!


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